weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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