so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
