feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
