Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it penis luge time yet?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
