I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
