The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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