Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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