I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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