But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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