i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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