this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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