Can Purell be used as lube?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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