I wish I could punch you in the face.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My pussy is not your playground.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
