normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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