I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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