he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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