There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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