there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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