I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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