I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
