Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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