Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
