yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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