sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
