I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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