No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
