I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
