My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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