Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
