I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
