I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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