garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
