Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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