So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
