God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
