I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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