No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
