just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
