I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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