Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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