So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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