so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
As shirtless as possible
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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