He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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