the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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