the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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