If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
