Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
