I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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