one might say we're banned from that church
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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