I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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