She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
