Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
