Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
