I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
